TODAY'S PRAYER: Process.
I see memes like the one below a lot. They come easy because things like that are easy to say. And at a certain superficial level they make sense. But then one day you find yourself frustrated and some smiley face comes along and tells you that you did this to yourself and its all you can do to stop yourself from biting them in the nose. However you graciously thank them as you drag your baffled butt up to the Häagen-Dazs counter for the comfort of some ice cream therapy.
A couple of years ago I found myself in a church bible study group. As far as I can remember this was my first time at a bible study group. On about the third day we were discussing some scripture when ywo of the long time church members suggested, in that nice churchy with a smile tone, that I did not have a clue.
Well, naturally, I got defensive and suggested I had been in the spiritual path working with God for a lot longer than they knew. They didn't bow to my grandiosity but nodded their heads and we moved on. Looking back I can see that we both were right but that in the context of the bible study their right was king. Mine was but a prince that wanted to be king at the wrong time. lol
In 12 step we get this too. We remember telling that drunk or that druggie or that fill in the blank to just stop. And we have listened time and again to them (or ourselves) sincerely saying how we made sense and then the promises to hop on the wagon asap - so Monday morning they stopped. Then Monday night they started again. Then Tuesday morning the stopped. Then Tuesday night the started again. Wednesday was hump day so they didn't bother quitting. Thursday they managed to quit the whole day and night. Then the weekend came and they resolved to quit Monday morning!
A lot of us quit a lot. We just did not know how to stay stopped. we learned the hard way that it wasn't just a matter of stopping stopping but that stopping was a process and once we understood the process we would have a better chance at stopping the stopping and staying stopped. Whew.
Our frustrated meme friend, like us, would benefit more greatly if they understood "accepting the invitation" was part of a process that if understood might give them a better shot at not opening the window when the frustration vampire knocks. Why your window? Did the vampire try other windowsbefore yours and no one bothered to even open their curtains? Why did you open the curtain?
This is where "mindfulness" can be very beneficial. My mindfulness training began years and years ago when I went to treatment. For the first time I began to understand addiction as a more complex process than just snorting too much coke. It involved a combination of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual elements that all came together to form a perfect storm - a process - that I, of my own devices could not weather safely.
I had no clue what I was up against. Like the last time I quit smoking when I realized it was not me against that skinny little cigarette but me against a team of scientists, doctors, pr people, fueled by that soul munching corporate greed - all invested in figuring out how to keep me buying and smoking cigarettes until, like the Marlboro man, I drop dead. All those other times not understanding the process I was up against I tried to grit my teeth, marshal my will and resist the temptation to take a puff. But once I began to understand, like in treatment, I was then able to ask for help. And with help I was able to disengage from the destructive addiction process and re-engage to a more life affirming recovery process.
Process. Todays prayer. Just take some time during this day to contemplate that word and what it means to you, what it looks like for you. What does the frustration process look like for you? Can you feel the physical changes your body might go through before frustration fully sets in? Can you observe your mental process and see what thoughts come during this process? Can you see what "out there" might be triggering one or both of these processes.
This "process" takes time so be gentle on yourself. It may be just start with being aware for a while before you are able to take a step to interject something that would interrupt that frustration process in you. Buddha had a life time before becoming Buddha. Moses had some good dinners in the house of Pharoah and 40 years in the wilderness to figure his stuff out. And our man Jesus had about 33 years to work some stuff out before he took his show on the road. Bill and Bob and Lois had a tumultuous first couple of years before the fruit began appearing. So you are in good company.
may you continue to be blessed to be a blessing!
Aho. Ase. Shalom. Hotep. Amen. Amin.
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