TODAY'S PRAYER: FEELINGS!
One of the Joys and sometimes curses of recovery is that we get to feel all of our feelings. Usually not all at the same time and not all right away.
But sometimes with a bang, a thud, a “holy fuck!!” they hit us all at the same time and we find ourselves frozen.
Sometimes for a moment and even longer.
Emotional thawing can be a process.
The body, mind, soul mechanism needs to know the threat is gone.
That it is safe to disengage fight or flight / tend and mend mechanisms.
This involves trust.
Trust takes time.
Feeling safe takes time.
Working through old hurts and wounds takes times.
Even learning to feel joy can take time.
But now we have time.
So we give time the time it needs and let feelings come and go as they need to - in a way that is safe for you.
Feelings aren’t always facts.
But the fact is we have feelings.
The do serve a valuable purpose. A function in our being.
We shouldn’t fear them or over indulge them.
But it is impossible to honor who and what we are without
honoring the totality of who we are - feelings and all.
Years ago I was in a heart breaking breakup and I called my sponsor to weep and gnash at teeth. He told me what I was feeling was ok and to set a time for myself, play some sad music and allow myself to feeling the sadness. Then when the time was up do something else to occupy your mind. It didn’t lift right away but a couple of nights with this practice it did. I slept better that night.
Here's a tear-jerker blues song.
Have a listen.
Let yourself feel the words and the notes and let whatever comes come.
Just be in the moment - an observer to the flow within.
I am still learning, even all these years later, it is ok to feel.
I hope you are too.
Be blessed to be a blessing today!
Amen. Aho. Shalom. Hotep. Ase. Peace!